Old but good
i want a love like me thinking of you thinking of me thinking of you type love or me telling my friends more than i’ve ever admitted to myself about how i feel about you type love or hating how jealous you are but loving how much you want me all to yourself type love or seeing how your first name just sounds so good next to my last name and shit i wanted to see how far i could get without calling you and i barely made it out of my garage see i want a love that makes me wait until she falls asleep then wonder if she’s dreaming about us being in love type love or who loves the other more or what she’s doing at this exact moment or slowdancing in the middle of our apartment to the music of our hearts closing my eyes and imagining how a love so good could just hurt so much when she’s not there and shit i love not knowing where this love is headed type love and check this i want to place those little post-its notes all around the house so she never forgets how much i love her type love and not have enough ink in my pen to write all the things i love about her type love and hope i make her feel as good as she makes me feel and i want to deal with my friends making fun of me the way i made fun of them when they went through the same kind of love type love. only difference is this is one of those real love type loves and just like in high school i want to spend hours on the phone not saying shit and fall asleep and then wake up with her right next to me and smother all up in my covers type love and i want to try counting the ways i love her then lose count in the middle just so i can start all over again and i want to celebrate one of those one month anniversaries even though they ain’t really anniversaries but doing it just ‘cause it makes her happy type love and check this i want to fall in love with the melodies when the phone plays when her number’s dialed into it type love then talk to you until i lose my breath she leaves me breathless but with the expanding my lungs i inhale all of her back into me i want a love that makes me need to change my cell phone calling plan to something that allows me to talk to her longer ‘cause in all honesty i wanna avoid one of them high cell phone bills type love and i want a love that makes me regret how small my hands are i mean the lines of my palms don’t give me enough time to love you as long i want to type love and i want a love that makes me st-st-stutter just thinking about how strong this love is type love and i want a love that makes me want to cut off all my hair well maybe not all the hair …maybe like…i cut off all the split ends and trim my mustache but it would still be a symbol of how strong my love is for her and i kind of feel comfortable now so i even be fantasizing about walking out on a green light just dying to get hit by a car just so i can lose my memory get transported to some third world country just to get treated and somehow meet up again with you so i can fall in love with you in a different language and see if it still feels the same type love i want a love that’s as unexplainable as she is but i’m married so she’s gonna be the one i share this love with.
Sister
I want to write something for you. I want to write so eloquently and simple as i could possibly get because I want this so much for you.
You are a beautiful person. you are one of, if not the most, the most deserving person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, growing, and living with. You try and try and try so hard to achieve so many things, and try and try so hard to fulfill what duties are bestowed upon you. I know it’s been less of a road than it is a struggle, but I hope that you see the kind of changes and beauty that presents itself with each passing moment.
Moments will come when it gets so dark, so hard that you let it get the best of you. Moments in life when things are so much harder than it should be, but please, I’m begging you to remember this: remember that you deserve to smile, you deserve to feel content, that you are someone worthy of that. I can’t always be there and even if I was, I can’t promise that I can do anything to help the situation. But I need you to think so hard about this that it makes your brain hurt.
Our family might not be much, it might not be picture perfect. But you have to allow yourself some room…to breath, to laugh, to enjoy yourself before regret is too late. Your life may seem like it’s not much or insignificant at times, but trust me, it’s far more important than you could even fathom.
There is so much love for you, and you have so much love to give, and there is finally something truly magical about what life has for you. You are a mother, you are someone’s entire world. You’re a daughter, a sister, a wife. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone.
Find your peace, find your happiness. But in the mean time, don’t weigh yourself down. Let yourself be happy. And if you aren’t, change it. Give yourself the chance to breathe easy.
(via booklover)
